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At first glance the scene
irritated me. Never at any time have I been able to bear the
flunkeyishness which one meets in the Press of the world at
large, but more especially in that of Russia, where, almost
every evening, journalists write on two subjects in particular
namely, on the splendour and luxury of the casinos to be found
in the Rhenish towns, and on the heaps of gold which are daily
to be seen lying on their tables. Those journalists are not
paid for doing so: they write thus merely out of a spirit of
disinterested complaisance. For there is nothing splendid about
the establishments in question; and, not only are there no heaps
of gold to be seen lying on their tables, but also there is very
little money to be seen at all. Of course, during the season,
some madman or another may make his appearance--generally an
Englishman, or an Asiatic, or a Turk--and (as had happened during
the summer of which I write) win or lose a great deal; but, as
regards the rest of the crowd, it plays only for petty gulden,
and seldom does much wealth figure on the board.
When, on the present occasion, I entered the gaming-rooms
(for the first time in my life), it was several moments
before I could even make up my mind to play. For one thing, the
crowd oppressed me. Had I been playing for myself, I think I
should have left at once, and never have embarked upon gambling at
all, for I could feel my heart beginning to beat, and my heart was
anything but cold-blooded. Also, I knew, I had long ago made up my
mind, that never should I depart from Roulettenberg until some radical,
some final, change had taken place in my fortunes. Thus, it must
and would be. However ridiculous it may seem to you that I was
expecting to win at roulette, I look upon the generally accepted
opinion concerning the folly and the grossness of hoping to win
at gambling as a thing even more absurd. For why is gambling a
whit worse than any other method of acquiring money? How, for
instance, is it worse than trade? True, out of a hundred
persons, only one can win; yet what business is that of yours or
of mine?
At all events, I confined myself at first simply to looking on,
and decided to attempt nothing serious. Indeed, I felt that, if
I began to do anything at all, I should do it in an
absent-minded, haphazard sort of way--of that I felt certain.
Also. it behoved me to learn the game itself; since, despite a
thousand descriptions of roulette which I had read with
ceaseless avidity, I knew nothing of its rules, and had never
even seen it played.
In the first place, everything about it seemed to me so foul--so
morally mean and foul. Yet I am not speaking of the hungry,
restless folk who, by scores nay, even by hundreds--could be seen
crowded around the gaming-tables. For in a desire to win quickly
and to win much I can see nothing sordid; I have always
applauded the opinion of a certain dead and gone, but cocksure,
moralist who replied to the excuse that " one may always gamble
moderately ", by saying that to do so makes things worse, since,
in that case, the profits too will always be moderate.
Insignificant profits and sumptuous profits do not stand on the
same footing. No, it is all a matter of proportion. What may
seem a small sum to a Rothschild may seem a large sum to me, and
it is not the fault of stakes or of winnings that everywhere men
can be found winning, can be found depriving their fellows of
something, just as they do at roulette. As to the question
whether stakes and winnings are, in themselves, immoral is
another question altogether, and I wish to express no opinion
upon it. Yet the very fact that I was full of a strong desire to
win caused this gambling for gain, in spite of its attendant
squalor, to contain, if you will, something intimate, something
sympathetic, to my eyes: for it is always pleasant to see men
dispensing with ceremony, and acting naturally, and in an
unbuttoned mood. . . .
Yet, why should I so deceive myself? I
could see that the whole thing was a vain and unreasoning
pursuit; and what, at the first glance, seemed to me the ugliest
feature in this mob of roulette The Gambler page 5 The Gambler page 7 | ||||